★ You have entered the information superhighwayBest viewed with enthusiasm

An unnecessarily epic corner of the internet

The Cool Page

TINY SERVER. COLOSSAL HOMEPAGE ENERGY.

HTML ENTHUSIASTFRAMES IN SPIRIT100% MORE NEON
★ WELCOME TO THE COOL PAGE ★ PLEASE KEEP ALL PIXELS INSIDE THE BROWSER ★ SERVING VIBES AT THE SPEED OF THE INTERNET ★

// Welcome, cyber traveler

Small machine.
Extremely big entrance.

You found a little server with a deeply unreasonable commitment to looking cool.

A public web front door, a place for uptime checks, and a few useful services behind the scenes. The glitter remains absolutely excessive.

No account needed. No secret handshake. Just some HTML and enough neon to be seen from the next subnet.

↓ Enter the cyber zone ↓
Original Intel Inside Pentium 4 badge from Intel's 2001 branding guide

Original Intel artwork, 2001.
A sticker is a state of mind.

UNDER
CONSTRUCTION

In the grand web tradition,
possibly forever.

// What this server does

The very important departments

Caddy web portal

Caddy serves web pages and reverse proxies web services. A small, capable web front door with an exceptionally large collection of borders.

Web serving & reverse proxying

Pi-hole DNS filtering

Pi-hole provides DNS filtering for the local network, helping keep unwanted domains from crashing the party. Administration stays private.

Local network service

Tesla integration

A vehicle integration service supports Tesla connectivity. Its working details stay behind the scenes; the public page supplies the chrome.

Vehicle integration service

Remote administration

Private remote desktop access supports server maintenance and administration. The control room stays behind the scenes.

Private administration

Pingability uptime monitoring

Pingability can check whether this public web page responds and help detect interruptions. An ordinary uptime check, dressed for a very extraordinary homepage.

Public web availability checks

// Please allow 47 years for download

GIF museum: bandwidth extravaganza

Actual animated GIFs preserved on GeoCities pages in 2000, 2001, and 2002. Your imaginary 56k modem sends its regards.

Classic animated dancing banana GIF
Dancing bananaCertified dial-up dance floor.
No one has located the off switch.
Classic animated GIF of a frustrated computer user head-banging into a CRT monitor
Technical support, 2001Have you tried
yelling at it?
Classic animated jackhammer worker with an Always Under Construction sign
Always under constructionWorking around the clock.
Accomplishing absolutely nothing.
Website Uptime Monitoring By Pingability.com

A tiny server deserves a proper roll call.